Apr 10, 2014

Denim Jean Girl

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, renowned for her "The  Five Levels of Grief and Loss", also once said, "We cannot find peace if we are afraid of the windstorms of life," and what an absolutely wonderful thought! I remember that particular saying when I decided to let it go and allow my life to unfold as it happens...and when things don't exactly go my way I always just try to hold on- Ride the storm, life goes on. You see, I have experienced life in such a way that I knostw that our lives don't always go smoothly. In fact, many of us have had traumas and struggles. When we are in the midst of a difficult time, it is hard to see it as a gift. Nevertheless, at some mega-level, every experience is an opportunity for learning. When we spend our energy blaming and complaining, we are handing over our power to those whom we blame. Out time and energy is well-spent when we stop to say, "What is my part in this situation, and what have I to learn from it?" In doing this,we are not blaming ourselves. We are not blaming at all. We are opening ourselves to the glean whatever learning is there for us and it is in this process that we become whole.

We have to realized this as a fact: Power over others does us no good at all. Owning our own personal part is the most effective method of recapturing our personal power that is known to us as a human.

Apr 9, 2014

Summer, Kind of Wonderful

Last week, I was invited for a private lunch by the team of Preview Magazine and of Privato Hotel to give us a very casual (yet absolutely classy... well it's Preview, what else did you expect?) sit-down to get to know each other more and to somehow, get our feedback regarding the new redesign of the magazine and also, to introduce the new cover for April featuring Sam Pinto. It was a nice opportunity to have a sit down and chat about all things fashion (and other things not...) and of course be given such a sumptuous and absolutely flavorful 5-course meal amidst an absolutely sleek and well-designed hotel restaurant which had the bright April sun peeking through its glass windows, highlighting the brilliant design of the place. It was such a delicious sight to behold and I am so glad to be a part of it (with my FOSSIL Dominique Tiu) of course. I think it is always nice to meet new people and talk to those who help shape and reinvent the industry which I belong to. More so, I find it a privilege and an honor that they actually wanted to hear our thoughts as well and pick our minds about how we feel about what they were doing. I highly appreciate and respect people who actually take the time (because they are genuinely concerned) to get feedback from their consumers. I think it speaks volumes on how they are very eager to learn from other people. Ultimately, to be able to preach... one has to have to ability to live curious and also learn... right?

Apr 6, 2014

Wedding Bell Blues

His hello was the end of her endings
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle
His hand would be hers to hold forever
His forever was as simple as her smile

He said she was what was missing
She said instantly she knew
She was a question to be answered
And his answer was "I do"

- Sex and The City, Carrie Bradshaw

I am a sucker for weddings- I get emotional and always cry (proof: in my friend, Kato's wedding where I was a bridesmaid, the camera shifted so often to me and all my shots were of myself crying...) I guess the reason for that is there is something so special which I hold sacred to see two people stand before the loved ones, and of course in front of God (as I said the only marriage I consider valid are those made before the eyes God, you may have an different opinion but that was how I was brought up), declaring their love for each other and entering a sacrament that binds them to be together until the end. 

It was a beautiful day to get married. I remember feeling so blessed to be able to witness two of my friends (that in the span of a year, I have grown to love)- Kim and Gio declare that love for each other. It was, in so many ways, such a decadent ceremony in a little chapel on top of a hill in Tagaytay, there stood two people who were entering a bond filled with so much love, hope and commitment, it was almost palpable for the people who were there to witness it. It was such a marvelous sight to behold and I found it absolutely impossible to keep a dry eye when the couple recited their vows. It wasn't my wedding but I felt myself so invested in the ceremony. To sum it up: there I was experiencing the cool air contrasted by the warm summer sun on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, feeling absolutely happy to be seeing the scene that was unfolding before me... there is only one word for how I felt...it's BLISS. 

Apr 4, 2014

She's dancing fancy pirouettes

I saw you dance in the arena hall in
make-up, dressed up like a ballerina
Got to wonder what's got into you
Or just what you got into

-Pure Rock Fury, Clutch (2001)

I find it weird how every person in every culture and in every era had a well-defined role for women in their society. I am sure men suffer the same fate, as well as the LGBT community. I guess setting up roles and standards is something very human as it has withstood time. It is a bit disconcerting especially since these presets seem to be very precise, accurate and specific especially when it comes to what it takes to being a woman. When I was young, I was always reminded to be delicate, prim and proper. I would remember being dressed up in these inappropriate little girl dresses from a store called Queen Alice with ruffles, silk, organza and tulle... basically all things poufy which I often cried about when we were shopping for them or when my yaya forced me to wear them and I would always cry because they were too "scratchy." I was never allowed to take up rugged activities or hobbies like taekwondo (which I have to admit I was really interested in) or basketball or anything sporty (which wasn't really something that affected me since I hated anything that had to do with balls bouncing). I was, however, signed up for ballet classes and for a very long time practiced the art of dancing with grace and lightness. For years, I remember learning how to master the art of having a perfect and "always in place" hair bun, which required a whole lot of hairspray. I grew up listening to songs of composers with the hardest names to spell: Tchaikovsky, Shostakovich, Korsakov, Utsvolskaya and learning their names while girls who were raised to be sporty or athletic learned the names: Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman or if you're in a more "progressive" type of household, Sean Michaels, Steve "Stonecold" Austin or The Undertaker. 

Apr 1, 2014

Work it, make it, do it...Makes us harder, better, faster, stronger!

One of my most favorite quotes which reminds me to get through any day is by Barbara Sher and it goes like this, “People have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen. When someone attaches unkindness to criticism, she’s angry. Angry people need to criticize as an outlet for their anger. That’s why you must reject unkind criticism. Unkind criticism is never part of a meaningful critique of you. Its purpose is not to teach or to help, its purpose is to punish. Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”

Mar 28, 2014

Dancing In The Sun

I never know in advance what will be an important gift for me. Hence it behooves me to be open to possibilities and not ever waste time worrying. Isak Dinesen was once  quoted saying, "I think these difficult times have helped me understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way and that so many things one goes around worrying about are of no importance whatsoever." I don't know if having to experience my life with so much suffering and grief has made me realize this to be true... which is probably why I do not know whether to refer to the conditions I have been forced to live with as a gift or as a burden. I realized, too little, too late, that it's not that we need to seek pain and suffering to glean the rich learnings of life. When they happen, however, we learn so much more if we choose to see these situations as rich opportunities for learning. Unavoidably, we spend so much time worrying, and worrying is more than an attempt at remote control... which trust me, as a control freak, I once made an integral part of life that it was almost as natural as breathing. Unfortunately, we may be so preoccupied with worry that we miss the gifts our life is presenting to us at the moment.

Mar 25, 2014

Pink is my favorite crayon

Being a woman isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world...but it's what I have to work with right now. There are so many aspects of ourselves that merit self-respect. I think Indira Mahindra said it best: "When self-respect takes it rightful place in the psyche of a woman, she will not allow herself to be manipulated by anyone."  We have to realize that we are unbelievably competent at what we do. We are flexible and strong and can be both simultaneously. We have good ideas that are practical and creative, and we can articulate them well. We have the ability to deal with several tasks simultaneously and attend to each one. We are organizers, creators, and doers and we all have a great capacity for being. We have much to contribute including a perspective on life that is so different from that of the men around us. We have to believe that we are here to stay, and that we and others need to accept that fact. Self-respect is such an important thing to me and I realize that not only is it essential to me... it is also important to the world. While people take offense at how brazen I am in defending myself, I take into consideration that it may seem catty of me... but then later I realize that not only am I giving myself a voice... I am also speaking in behalf of other people who are silenced by other factors in their lives... and then I think, it is worth it.