On Knowing When To Let Go: Letting go is no easy process, especially for those who have so much to do and think about and so many reasons to keep holding on. After all, have we not made our reputation with our tenacity, our stubbornness, and our ability to continue to persevere against tremendous odds? One of the fall outs of never giving up is that we lose perspective on what is important and what isn't. We lose the ability to discern what is a little battle that is not worth our effort and what is an important battle where we need to stand our ground. We dissipate and squander our energies on little things that really do not matter much and end up having nothing left when we need to face up to the really important. This loss of our ability to discern the small from the large issues is one of the disasters of not knowing when to let go. Ultimately, we need to be able to let go of the little things so we are there for the big ones. If we do that, we may discover there are many fewer big ones than we thought. In the end, it is probably not the holding on that will summarize our lives. It is the letting go that will be of greater significance.
Mar 8, 2014
"It's not that I'm rebelling... I'm just trying to find another way."
- Edie Sedgwick
I think that we live in a time of intense information exchange so rapid that it boggles the mind. We are constantly bombarded with new items, new scientific information, new ideas, and new possibilities. Too often we ask ourselves, "Where do I fit?" "What is my place in all of this?" As someone who is still finding her on way, I find that I often discount my knowledge and try to skew my information or my perceptions so that they are "acceptable" to others. In doing so, I realized, I rob the world of my accumulated knowledge... because while I am sure that there are certain experiences and life events that happen to almost everyone, there are certainly much more that occur only to us and if we try to hide the lessons we've picked up to avoid the scrutiny of those who haven't experienced what we have gone through or those who have lived as we have. So we conform and try to fit in the herd, which I actually do not understand, because I think that all of us were born to stand out...molded by the things and circumstances that have happened uniquely to us and us alone. I think everyone sees things differently and as that is the case, accurate information from a variety of perspectives is absolutely essential. We have to realize that we do have a place... and what we have gone through is important.
Mar 5, 2014
"You wear yourself out in the pursuit of wealth or love or freedom, you do everything to gain some right, and once it's gained, you take no pleasure in it."
Sometimes, we forget what's important. We struggle so long to establish ourselves that we have become addicted to the struggle. We begin to think that if we are not struggling, we are not alive. In fact, the excitement and intensity of struggle become our focus, so that we forget our original goal. Personally, I have stopped struggling for a very long time. A common misconception people have is that I blog to gain popularity or status... many times, detractors even use this against me, thinking I would feel bad about it. I don't. For me, blogging was never about popularity. Back in 2007, I started a blog and I didn't really expect to "earn" from it. Actually, it was more of a way to document and share what I wore on a day to day basis. In no way did I think of the perks and benefits that came along with it because back then, it didn't exist yet. I just did it because I was passionate about dressing up and thought that I could somehow put it out there... whether someone else bothered enough to click and browse through it, well, was something that never really was the main goal in what I did. Whenever people ask me about ranking and statistics, I always answer that I honestly do not know as I never bothered with it. I have always been passionate about fashion, randomly sharing my thoughts on certain things and I love dressing up and this is something I have been so protective of. Ultimately, I always wanted my objective to remain the same and I would like to think that I have maintained it for the past 7 years I have been documenting my outfits.
Mar 3, 2014
Isolation is one of the characteristics of people who are doing too much. Maggie Kuhn once said, "One of the reasons our society has become such a mess is that we are isolated from each other." I realized that I may be surrounded by people all day long and that I know to be a fact since I am never alone... with my entourage of my yaya, bodyguard and private nurse always with me, wherever I go, but this sometimes does not even come as a hindrance as my single-minded dedication to work and my incessant rushing isolates me. The truth is, when I get into my groove of dealing with the frenzy of daily life, I absolutely do not like to be interrupted by anyone... loved ones, I confess, sometimes included. I would rather get my work done, the OCD person that I am. And being an ISTJ (my personality archetype) makes me frustrated when things do not fall into place, which makes others afraid to approach me. Like most of the rest of the world, I am sure you can relate. We have become just as locked up and closeted with our working, our busyness, our hurrying around as antisocial people were in their isolated houses. The tendency is, we have forgotten how to reach out, and we don't have the time for it, even if we remember how. We think that if we had more time to focus on our work that we would feel better, and naturally, the opposite happens since instead we feel exhausted. Isolation is an energy drain and I realize now that I need to learn the difference between isolation and solitude as I have seemed to have blurred the lines separating the two.
I wonder if it is possible to be in touch with our true courageousness without being in touch with our spirituality? Dorothy Bernard said, "Courage - fear that has said its prayers." and what a wonderful definition of the word! We know how to be foolhardy. We know how to take risks. We even know how to put ourselves on the line. But sometimes, we need to stop to reflect, we need to believe that the work we are doing has a meaning beyond the tedium of the everyday. I was going through some inner crisis in the past about my work situation and I felt as if I cannot see some larger connection in what I was doing. Inevitably, I experienced the feeling of loss and emptiness. But then things started to pick up and about 3 years ago, I was privileged to be chosen as Channel [V]'s Designer of the Month... They did a store feature and short interview (where I was struggling with my voice as I had decided to party up and celebrate the taping the night before which ended at 4 a.m.) and the taping was scheduled at 7 a.m. so there I was... hungover and hoarse and perhaps the only saving grace was that I donned a pretty Herve Leger dress... Now how is that from Triple H? Anyway, after the interview, the producers asked if I had a song preference for my video and automatically, I said that I wanted (yes, I was very assertive and on point about this one) the song to be "The Sun Ain't Shining No More" by The Asteroids Galaxy Tour simply because the song was so my style and it captured the kind of music I get inspired to when designing. I am a big fan of bands with a female lead singer- this band counted and other bands like Oh! Land, Soho Dolls, The Ting Tings, The Kills, Goldfrapp, Ladytron, The Pretty Reckless etc. The first time I saw the video played out on television (they played it out about every hour), I was ecstatic and in a way, I was able to find that what I was doing in fashion was something that I could find connection to... with myself and with other people... as people who had seen the video started to message me that seeing me on that feature made them want to pursue their craft and creativity and it reassured them that despite the process of being your own employer would be a daunting task and quite the risk, they saw that there was so much merit in doing something they were passionate about.
Mar 1, 2014
If you are keen on certain trivia related things, you would know that most of my blog titles for my posts have been song titles or song lyrics... which somehow I relate to with my post. Since I started blogging (for fashion,specifically), magazines and people who feature me always ask me this standard question: "What do you do when you can't decide on what to wear on a certain day?" I can't even recall how many times I have been asked to answer this question seriously. I reckon it is indeed a legitimate question to ask someone who loves dressing up and chronicles their daily style in such a public platform- after all, readers probably are interested in what comes to mind when we get up and have to pick out an outfit. Sadly, I have to say, like most people, we are not always inspired and as specific as we expect to be on a daily basis.
Feb 27, 2014
And... I'm back!!! I realized the jet black hair was wearing me out or overpowering my features too much and well, I just had about enough. So I went to the salon for a hair color change which was magical since my stylist over at Franck Provost is seriously a genius. I have always heard of that saying that whenever a woman is going through some kind of ordeal (ie. a break-up, a family problem, a falling out with a friend or a grave loss), the first thing they change and tinker with is their hair. This has been a popular belief and common talk among salons and beauty parlors (not that I am eavesdropping or anything... I just happen to hear the incessant chatter when I'm sitting in a chair doing nothing). Though I think that it was absolutely silly- "we are women, come on, there has got to be a better way of dealing with things than a new hairstyle', I found myself reflecting on the ghosts of haircuts past courtesy of my Chictopia.com page and realizing that the trims, the out of whim, the crops, the chops and the lightening and darkening of my hair was actually in sync with my timeline of ups and downs. Subconsciously, perhaps, I was doing it... but it's strange when things you take as taboo, turn out to be actually true and the best example of such- turns out to be... you.